Dialog Before the Earth-Goddess Eloped with the Star-God
by
JONATHAN VOS POST (appeared in Amazing Stories Magazine)

The Star-God swept in from the arms of the Milky Way having glimpsed the Earth-Goddess in glimmers of Gamma Ray. "Am I not the master of all that I survey? I must find Her, & woo Her, & set Us a wedding day..." But the Elders of Earth demanded a resume. "A resume? But that's totally perverse. I'm ten billion years old & I've travelled the universe while quasars quake & the galaxies disperse, great stars burn low & nebulas cry for a nurse. The Black Hole rolls for our souls like a hideous hearse!" "That's all very well," said the Elders, "but we need the papers. The stars die down? Never mind, we can read by the tapers that burn in the basement windows of Wall Street sky-scrapers. We want documents, not the recital of cosmical capers. A curriculum vitae, not vortical vagueness and vapors." "Vapors? Just who do you think swirls those vortices such as this goofy galaxy where you absurd aborigines live your lives' petty period in between two small ()s? Striding space-time, stopping only to pocket the Pleides as a boy plucks a pebble to play with, I play with infinities!" "That is infinite nonsense, as far as we all are concerned. What's 1,000,000 degrees if you can't prove to us what you've learned? While you ranted & raved about how all those stupid stars burned our files have closed, our expensive attorneys attorned, and so, if you please, our interview now stands adjourned." This boded no good. It rendered our planet outmoded when the Star-God was thus incommoded: cities of sky-scrapers crumpled, corroded; pinnacles, mountains & hilltops eroded; with a splash of neutrinos the sun supernova'd, exploded. "Sorry, Love," he said, leaving, I just didn't know it was loaded..." 0518-0544 16 May 87

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